Movie-Going Idiots

Just about everyone loves a good movie, but a theater atmosphere is something special. After all, you don't shell out the money to see a movie if you don't plan on enjoying it. But some people just don't seem to know how to behave at movies. Quite frankly they are idiots. You might want to contest this fact, but all it takes is a look around the theater to see the glares that everyone aims at these people. Anyone who makes that many enemies in an hour and a half is clearly an idiot.

There are several types of movie-going idiots, though. I went to see The Hunger Games this weekend, and the theater was packed. Needless to say, we had several idiots in the bunch.

Group Idiots: These are most often teenagers. Usually, they are loud, obnoxious, and downright rude. They might throw popcorn or yell at each other. They are prone to kicking the backs of the chairs in front of them and talking throughout the movie. If you sit anywhere around them, you're probably not going to have a great cinematic experience.

Phone Idiots: This one is a pretty big category, mostly due to the many things people can do one their phones these days. They range from people who just won't silence their phones to the ones who text people the entire time. Some people are even bold enough to answer their phones and have conversations in the middle of the movie. The latest trend, though, is the Internet during the movies. I have no idea why you would pay to go to a movie and then sit and play on your phone while ignoring it the whole time. Nothing about phone idiots annoys me more than the bright white screen shining in your face when the people in front of you decide that they just have to check their mail and get on Facebook.


Undiscerning Idiots: Mostly, this group consists of parents who have no gauge on what their children should watch. Someone brought a child who looked to be about four or five to see The Hunger Games when I went. Why would you let your small child watch a movie about kids killing each other? Some other people fit into this category, though. They can also be people who simply know nothing about the movie that they're seeing. Questions usually follow. Loudly. They may mumble under their breath about how it isn't what they thought it was or bother the person next to them to explain the plot. It's one thing if the movie just isn't what you expected it to be, but a little research helps. At least watch the trailer!

Parenting Idiots: Yes, some of this overlaps with the undiscerning idiot category, but mostly, these idiots just bring small children to movies simply because they don't believe in hiring babysitters. It really ruins the mood of a great movie when you keep hearing a kid talking loudly or running in the aisles. The worst, though, is when they bring infants. Someone did that this weekend, and she happened to be buying her ticket right in front of me in line. She asked what the theater capacity was and how many seats were left because she "didn't want to disturb too many people." The theater was packed, but it apparently still fit into her definition of a small crowd. Granted, she did a pretty good job of taking the baby out when it started whimpering, so we never heard the full out wails. Regardless, she missed huge chunks of the movie because she chose to bring her infant with her.

The unwritten rules of movie-going are pretty standard. When it comes down to it, if you aren't courteous, you're kind of an idiot.